Friday, December 20, 2019
We appreciate all you who attended Vi's service or contacted us to show your support and share how Vi touched your lives.
As many of you know, we grew up in a wonderful tight knit neighborhood in the Boonton Twp. That rural lifestyle gave me a lot of time with my mother as a child. She taught me many things. Vi taught me to sew and cook. She was always trying to improve a recipe or put her own touch into something. She was creative, thrifty and resourceful. Vi took pleasure in accomplishing something herself ( specifically I’m remembering when she reupholstered our sofa… learning and cursing as she went!) She had a strong aesthetic and appreciated beauty and good quality. Vi enjoyed orchestrating a dinner party and took pride in the menu planning and beautiful table. These are things I also enjoy and I’m grateful Vi influenced me in this way.
Vi worked as a nuclear medicine technician when few women worked outside the home. I was proud of my mother. In the context of the early 60’s, she roll modeled the confidence and courage to be independent.
There are other lessons my mother taught me that weren’t as easy.
It’s strange for me to be here today since as many of you know my mother and I were estranged. I have grieved and cried for her for 13 years. So today there is closure for me as I can stop hoping and stop trying to reconcile with her.
I will close by saying that the most valuable lesson my mother taught me is forgiveness. Forgiveness is choosing to not feed the anger within.
It is especially difficult to forgive those we love since they can hurt us the most deeply. Forgiveness is choosing to love despite difficulties. We are all flawed human beings muddling along the best we can. Instead of harboring resentments, I focus on gratitude for what those people/ situations teach me. Forgiving my mother gave me tremendous peace and is a life lesson that I’m very grateful for.
