Obituary of Elaine Xenitelis

Elaine Xenitelis, a beacon of light, compassion and vitality, passed away peacefully at her home in Rockaway, New Jersey on August 8, 2025, surrounded by her loving family. Born on May 28, 1933, in Bloomfield, New Jersey to the late Lillian (Besen) and Louis Gruber, Elaine lived a life full of purpose, joy and connection. She was a devoted mother, grandmother, sister, and friend whose vibrant spirit touched countless lives.

Raised in Bloomfield, Elaine graduated from Bloomfield High School in 1952 and attended Berkeley Secretarial School in East Orange. She began her career as a secretary at McGraw Hill in New York City. After marrying George Xenitelis, she dedicated herself to raising her family in Boonton Township. She later moved to the Greenbrier/Fox Ridge community in Rockaway, where she made wonderful friends and inspired others with her active lifestyle & infectious smile.

Elaine was the heart of her family, survived by her children: Pam, Donna, Paul, Jennifer and David; her daughters-in-law Daina and Christina; her cherished grandchildren: Nicole, Jessica, Daniel Louis, Matthew, Talia Elaine, Alexa, Maya and Dominic; her sister Cherri and brother-in-law Mark; her sisters-in-law: Kaliope “Cli” and Suzanne, and her many nieces & nephews. Elaine was predeceased by her beloved brother Marvin. Her family was her greatest pride, and they described her as a loving mother and grandmother, passing down her compassion, humor and unconditional love.

Elaine was always on the go. She worked part-time in retail, Newsweek in Mountain Lakes, volunteered at St. Clare’s Hospital adult day program, shopped for the elderly and remained active in her community through the Lakeland YMCA, water aerobics and Mahjong. Her love for tradition was evident in temple visits which she shared with her children, celebrating heritage & holidays with a nonjudgemental, open heart.

Elaine’s passions were as diverse as her spirit. She adored music, from classical to classic rock, was a longtime Brooklyn Dodgers fan, and a lifelong theatregoer collecting baskets full of playbills from Broadway shows, her most recent being Gypsy last spring with her daughters. A fan of The Sopranos, Breaking Bad, Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm, and Martin Scorsese films, she balanced her love for gritty drama with a joyful demeaner, often laughing over Peanuts characters. Her sweet tooth was legendary-she loved ice cream, chocolate, nuts & delighted in receiving baked chocolate chip cookies that were gifted to her on her birthdays, as many as her age.

Elaine was a role model of acceptance and compassion, embracing diversity and advocating for others with an understanding mind since she was young. Her ability to see all sides, her humor, and her unwavering support made her a confidante and friend to many. Her family’s love for her is a testament to the extraordinary mother and grandmother she was-unconventional, funny and deeply loving.

All services will be private. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson’s Research, P.O. Box 5014 Hagerstown, MD 21741 or Wise Animal Rescue, PO Box 121, Lake Hiawatha, NJ 07034 in Elaine’s memory, reflecting her commitment to community and care. Please leave a condolence, add a gesture, or share your favorite memory here to celebrate Elaine’s life and let her light shine.